Time slips away from care givers

Time has slipped by me very quickly over the last month.  I became so involved in my mother's care, I forgot I had a blog on the experience.  The sequence of events leading to the intense focus on Mom coalesced in late September.

First, we had been approved for additional care, but in order to make use of the care, we need a state certified care coordinator.  The agency we were using hired a person to do that, but she was not current.  Instead of telling me she was not actually able to review the results of our care plan approval, they told me it had not been approved yet.  Can you believe that?  Can you believe that folks would be so concerned about keeping business that they did not let me know that I could get the care immediately - but would need to change care coordination?  I spent a great deal of time and energy following up on this to get someone who can actually do what's needed.

Transfers from the former agency to Fairbanks Resource Agency (FRA) and Access Alaska are underway.

Then I finally gave up on the home medical supply company that has my mother's prescription.  No one ever returned my calls .. well once, after hours and with a promise she would be in contact with me the next day.  I put in a request to change the prescription to another agency and the on-call nurse said she would follow through with my request, but I have not heard back from her.

Finally, my husband's cancer recurred and we needed to go to Anchorage for specific laser surgery that can not be done in Fairbanks.  We were gone two days and it threw my mother into a tail spin.  Her anxiety about being left increased, she had been sleeping more than usual and this increased.  Her appetite dropped off.  At FRA they told me she would sit by the window in her coat all day worrying about getting home and being left.  She was not eating her lunches.

I started reading about dementia and anxiety, wondering what I could do about her state of mind.  Depression and anxiety can worsen the symptoms of dementia.  In my mom's case, the symptoms lead us to think she was degenerating very quickly.  I tried an anti-anxiety medication that she'd been prescribed when she'd fallen.  She was not eating or drinking much, but she would take her vitamins and 2 pills for her heart each day.  This pill, quit small and a very low dosage, was very effective.  She is eating, sleeping at regular times, and engaged at her adult day care again.  her quality of life, conversation, and awareness has improved vastly in just one week.

I have signed all papers to change care coordination and PCA services, but we may not have the transfer for two more weeks.  In the meantime, I am still on duty for her evening and weekend care.  I feel guilty saying that it seems too much for me.  But making Mom's lunch each day so she gets no milk products, working full time, managing the bills, caring for Gary as he tries to beat the cancer a second time, and then nightly meals, hygiene and bed preparation for Mom seems more than a 63 woman should be doing.  I am stretched to the limit.