Why Start Now?

My mother came under my care in July of 2001.  Poppy, her dear husband, and the father-like figure to me and my children, passed from cancer.  His death was fast as he died of heart failure before the cancer could harm him more, and my mom was lost to the world.  She had not been eating, she was hallucinating, and told me she had been told she had alzheimer's disease.

It turned out she was suffering from dementia, but not in an advanced state yet, and it was most likely brought on by complications due to emphysema induced pneumonia when she did not get sufficient oxygen for a period of time.  This took me a while to sort out at the onset.  Once Poppy passed, I sent her to my aunts and uncle in California and began to look for her care.  We moved her out of her home, into an assisted living facility, and then I put her under my own family doctor's care in Boulder.

We sussed out that she needed more oxygen in order to function normally and that she did not need the battery of medications she had been prescribed.  With the change in meds and increase in oxygen, she was able to move to another wing in the facility and live independently (with frequent checks by and the community lifestyle of the building).  That meant cooking meals twice a day and eating with others once a day.  When we moved to Evergreen, we moved her as well and she again lived in a great facility, but without the advantage of meals provided once a day.

In 2006, when we were preparing to move here in Alaska, we noticed that she was losing weight.  That continued after moving her to a senior apartment complex in Fairbanks.  Late 2007 we moved her in with us and early the next year down to her own apartment in our house.  She continued to lose weight, despite us checking on her for regular meals.  Later that year she fell while walking across April ice on our driveway to get her paper, breaking her shoulder and wrist.  At this point, we became aware that she should no longer be on her own during the day and started taking her to FRA (Fairbanks Resource Agency) Adult Day Care Center.

In January of this year, we succeeded in getting PCA care for Mom in the mornings and have gotten approval to extend that care to evenings and weekends through State funded programs.

So, why am I beginning this blog now?  I have watched the progression of her dementia for several years, but what is prompting me to post my observations and lay out my soul to the world?  

In a word, I want a forum to share what I see daily.  I think it will help me decide if and when I should place mom in assisted living care.  I am hoping it will also help me deal with losing her in this way and the sadness and hurt I feel watching my mother's mind betray her.  I will record more of what has happened recently as days go on and hopefully others will follow this blog and contribute.