Move into Assisted Living or Remain Here

I spoke with Mom's care coordinator, Suzy, at FRA about Marion Griffin's home.  Marion had said she would call Suzy to speak about her moving in.  She also said she would call us after she had another person look at the room.  She told me this person was referred to her by the State of Alaska.

She has not called.  Suzy offered to call her for me.  She said that if we wanted to move Mom into assisted living, we should do it when there was an opening.  As we know from my previous visits, openings to good homes are few and far between.  On the other hand, if we were thinking of keeping mom at home because she had improved, I should let her know.  But she did remind me that she is all right now, but if I needed to place her later, I would be in the same position of having to wait until there was an opening.

Gary and I talked it over and if Marion will take Mom, we want to place her.   This is going to be hard for both of us. Gary kept saying that he thought Mom was upset about going to Marion's.  He said he couldn't figure out what was upsetting and so asked if she was upset about moving to a new home.  She said yes.  That was interesting because when we were there, she said she was willing to move there.  I thought it was due to the fact that we changed her coat. 

I don't think Gary should put words into her mouth or suggest to her what is bothering her, but he could be right.  The point is that this move will be upsetting to all of us.  We can't really rent her apartment out because she may not fit in and so would need to come back. So in addition to our emotional upheaval, it has an tenuous feel.  I feel unhappy.  I know I can't keep taking care of her without compromising my health and Gary's, but I feel so bad about it. 

I think she could get better care.  I don't know that since I am not in those homes on a daily basis, but I think she would have more contact.  I wish Mom had been feeling better when we went to Hope Haven.  I do know that they check on the clients regularly when they are not in the common room.  I do know they have activities to keep them interacting with each other. 

At Marion's home, everyone eats when they want, so I don't know that Mom would ever be with others. And since Marion has not called me, not any of the times I have visited when she said she would call me to let me know what was happening with the room, I doubt she will now.