Status Report

First - comments on Mom's current state.

When she went to FRA on Tuesday, the day I turned on the lights and Pam was able to get her dressed and on her way, I did not mention a significant event.  When they arrived, a man was having a heart attack.  They ushered every one to a separate room and although Mom did not speak of it, I do think it impacted her.  I have not been able to get Mom up at a reasonable time either since that event.  She is showing serious signs of depression and I wondered if it reminded her of Poppy's heart attacks.  Poppy, as my daughter named him, was my Mom's husband and the love of her life.

It would have been very much in the recesses of her mind as she does not speak of him anymore, but her heart ached for his loss through her remaining cognitive years.  Those memories are still there - even though she can't access them readily.  That is the difference between Alzheimer's and something like vascular dementia.  The cause is different and the physical characteristics of the brain are different.

I went down late in the day (like near noon) when it was fully light outside and sat and watched TV while I waited; she eventually got up and I noticed her standing, leaning on the table.  And, yesterday she got up and I was able to bathe her, shampoo her hair and get her dressed before Teresa, Lorien, and Jamie came by.  She had trouble remembering Lorien before they came, but eventually sorted it out.  Then she had trouble remembering Jamie after they'd been gone for awhile.  They stayed for about an hour and gave her left overs from Thanksgiving while I looked at Assisted Living homes.  By the time I got back, about half an hour after they'd gone, she was already in bed (in her clothes).

I found her up and about at 10:00 pm, munching on a stale cracker or cookie she must have hid somewhere.  I have no idea where she found it.  I made her some soup and opened a can of Hansen's cola.  I normally would hate the thought of all that sugar, but she is drinking something and at this point getting her to drink anything is a good thing.  But we do need to buy more variety of healthier drinks.  We used to give her Gatorade until she told the folks at FRA she was sick of that stuff.  We hit upon the cola because she was so enthusiastic about her coke from Carl's Jr's.  But she will tire of it soon.

She is supporting herself when she walks everywhere, and very gingerly lowers herself into her chair.  I do think she is still in pain.  I scheduled a follow on appointment where Dr. Tsigonis can see her first hand and we talk about maintenance control of UTI.  But also we can explore what is actually the source of ongoing pain for her.

I am confused and conflicted by all of this.  I feel she needs more care, but last night, when she was up on her own rooting around her house and cooing to her kitty, I wondered if moving her was the right decision.  Perhaps she is depressed because of the closeness of death and seeing someone struggle in her safe haven at FRA.  It is especially easy for me to back peddle after visiting assisted living homes in Fairbanks.

More on that next.