More Surprises and Some Mistakes

It appears that we may be able to place Mom in the home near the University.  Marion is not taking another resident right now, though.  For personal reasons, she is delaying adding another member to her household.  I will check back later.  She mentioned that when Mom did not want to get up, we should not force her, but make sure she gets food and liquids - which means full time nursing and not at all the approach I finally took.

So here is the surprise - she got up yesterday with no resistance and made it through the entire day.  Although she again mentioned how tired she was, she did manage through the day all right and was fine when we brought her home.  After her evening care giver, Marilyn, left, she was still up and about.  I did not get her up this morning, but left her to Pam's care.  I felt Pam should be able to reassume morning duties.  Maria, at FRA (Fairbanks Resource Agency), said UTI really throws elders into a tail spin and they can have a long recovery time.  So, sadly, it seems I misinterpreted her symptoms and that perhaps all Mom needed was more time at home resting.

At one point I suspected it could be physically related and called Denali Center to ask about short term care.  I found that if she was not able to get up at all, or minimally, that she we could ask our family physician to place her in Denali Center short term care.  But now that she is able to be up all day - with strong encouragement from me that first day - she obviously no longer qualifies for  that support.  However, I do need to keep that in mind for the future.

So, now I am in a bit of confusion.  I am not willing to stay at home for her since I have critical deadlines that must be completed before the end of the year when certain features are dropped from a Google product I support.  As a result, I put her into a situation where she could not comfortably heal.  We allowed her to sleep for many days over the Thanksgiving break, but then I finally forced her to get up which Marion, a LPN, said shouldn't be done.  Nevertheless, now that she is up, things are back to our usual routine.

Maria also mentioned that I needed to ask about activities.  If she were in a home where all they did was watch TV, her dementia would progress.  That is one thing I am not certain about with Let Us Care.  It is a small facility, and like Mom, the women there appeared to be very private.  All residents were in their rooms when I stopped by @ lunch time.  One came out while I was there - perhaps for the stimulation of company, but I don't know because that was just one contact.  Perhaps this is not always the case.

So, since Mom is once again able to go to FRA and my thoughts that her unwillingness to get up was based in depression and dementia do not appear to be correct, I am wondering if I should back away from placing her in a home and wait for Gladys Egger to have a spot for her after all.  Maria mentioned that she liked the fact that Gladys wanted to plan activities for her residents.

Just when I think it is getting clearer, it gets murky again - and the fact is, right now there is no place for her to move to anyway, so it is a blessing that she is up and going to FRA.